The woman that I've been for almost 37 years will slowly disappear.

Today was a bit emotional.

 Dick and I accompanied our youngest child apartment hunting.

 It doesn't seem like that long ago that this little girl started kindergarten. My daughter is growing up, and the grains of sand in the hourglass when I'll be able to shield her from life is running out. It's taking my breath away!

 Watching our children taking those first steps into adulthood is exciting but it's also hard to accept that they will no longer be in our care. There will be no curfews for me to wait up for! I will not know where or how she is most of the time.

 Is it normal to feel a sense of loss? The woman that I've been for almost 37 years will slowly disappear.
(Richie was born in 1980 and Aubrey will be leaving in 2017.) 

Thank you Aubrey for letting me join you on this journey and forgive me for all the mistakes I made. I know I asked too many questions. Forgive me. It was only because I still and always will long for a connection to you. I am interested in everything you do because you are my world.

On our way to Utah.

If it wasn't for the support of my loving husband and these two amazing mothers who are also experiencing letting go of their youngest at home, I don't think I could handle this craziness. I love you two amazing women! Thanks for raising these two fabulous young ladies to make watching those first steps into adulthood much easier. I love your sweet daughters and I know my daughter is in good company. I'm so happy they will be roommates.

I thought it was awesome how all three girls had their older sisters who live in town, come join us for lunch.

Look at those icicles on Grandpa Vosco's rose bushes!

There is still so much snow at Grandpa's house!

I love these icicles by Giselle's front door.
When I saw them I thought of Deacon using them as swords!

After all the running around we visitited with Grandpa Vosco and then we went to Richie and Chrislynn's for a little bit. For dinner we went to Fredrico's Pizza. That's the first place Dick took me out to eat after we were married. We lived in Logan the first 31/2 years. I had never had pizza because I never liked it. Dick promised me that I would love this pizza almost 38 years ago and he was right.
 I still love their pizza!

“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.” ~ Anne Frank

Read more here: http://www.sacbee.com/entertainment/living/family/teen-talk/article79299192.html#storylink=cpy

Bad news for Bree

February 21

We drove to Brigham to meet Giselle and Brooks.
 51 degrees!
 It hasn't been this warm since forever!
 From there we drove to SLC, Utah and dropped Brooks
 off  at the Canine Rec. Center. 

My gorgeous Giselle and Brooks

Giselle had an appointment in Lehi with her endocrinologist regarding her Graves' Disease. She had a good visit with her doctor. After her appointment she took us to lunch at Potbelly Sandwich Shop in Orem. Giselle loves that place!
 Every time Philip goes to see his parents in Orem, he brings Giselle her favorite sandwich from there.
 For dessert, she took us to 
The Mighty Baker.

Yummy!

While we were in Lehi, the rec center sent Giselle photos of Brooks. It sure looked like he was having a great time.

On our way back to Brigham, Brooks slept all the way.
 He was exhausted.
He was too cute!

When we got to Brigham, it started snowing.
We had to drive through a scary blizzard.
Remember how it was 51 degrees earlier???

About 20 minutes before we got back to Burley,
 the blue skies welcomed us.

It was so much fun to spend the day with our princess.
 Giselle's strength is so amazing! I don't know how she can get so much accomplished with everything that she's dealing with. I'm so glad that Dick and I can still accompany our children when they go to the doctor and that they still want us with them.

February 22

Brianna and I had a fun lunch date then we went to the groceries to get all the supplies to do some meal prepping. Giselle has encouraged me these last few weeks to start this again. Brianna looked so beautiful when I picked her up. Her hair was in an up do.
 Her complexion porcelain like always.

My beautiful Brianna. 

After I dropped her off at home she went to get Deacon from school and then she went for her diabetic eye checkup.
 Brianna has been diabetic since she was 8.

 Two hours after her appointment, I called her because I never heard from her and she always calls to let me know how things went. Not only did I sense in her voice that things weren't good, she said, "I'm on my way to your house. I'll talk with you about it when I get there." The phone was on speaker and Dad was in the kitchen with me. He said,  "Uh oh, It doesn't sound good."

 That is exactly what I was thinking.

At her past 2 diabetic eye exams, she was warned she had hemorrhaging going on in the back of her eye. The hemorrhage was in a layer where it doesn't cause blindness. Scary and not good, but still in a safe place. The doctor warned her to try and keep her sugars under control to slow the process down from going to the dangerous layer where it causes blindness.
 Last year she missed her eye appointment. 

About two weeks ago she had a lot of pain in her eye and it was looking pretty red and irritated. This made her go to her eye doctor. She was put on eye drops that had steroids and antibiotic in them for an eye infection that the doctor told her he has only ever seen in people who don't clean their contacts often enough. Brianna doesn't wear contacts, so he really couldn't tell her how she got that particular infection. As she was leaving, the lady at the front desk reminded her that she had missed her eye appointment last year so Bree scheduled it before she left the office. Today she had her exam and the doctor told her that the hemorrhaging has gone through another layer. He actually told her that she could go blind within a month and that she needed to see a specialist ASAP. We all agree that she needs to go to the Moran Eye Center in SLC, Utah because it's the best but the doctor told her it's taking about 3 months before patients get seen and she doesn't have that kind of time. He is hoping Dr. Welch in Twin Falls can see her sooner because he doesn't think it's a good idea to wait longer than a week.

 He warned her that time is of the essence over and over again.

Dick gave her a father's blessing tonight and I know that with all of us praying that everything will be okay no matter who she sees. The first thing she thought of was how the unexplained eye infection that she got was a huge blessing. That eye infection took her to the eye doctor where she was reminded she needed to go back for her diabetic eye exam. If not Bree could have lost her vision and that would be irreversible. The bright side is that right now, everything looks like it is reversible.

I love you princess and I'm so grateful for your strength.
You've been so strong and brave ever since you were so little.
Stay strong and healthy for your beautiful boy my love and for me.

Brianna will be seen by Dr. Welch from Twin Falls.

 Her first procedure is on Thursday, March, 2nd.

TENDER MERCIES
The Lord tends to us in the form of tender mercies. There is great importance in remembering the tender mercies of the Lord. When you're in the middle of a trial, a way to actually get through the hard times is to read through your journal or blog and recognize all the tender mercies of the Lord in our lives every single day. 
It brings me so much strength.

"The unexplained eye infection that she got was a huge blessing. That eye infection took her to the eye doctor where she was reminded she needed to go back for her diabetic eye exam. If not Bree could have lost her vision and that would be irreversible. The bright side is that right now, everything looks like it is reversible."

He'll always be a teacher!

Monday

February 13

My shoulder has been hurting since before Thanksgiving.

 Since I was diagnosed with gouty arthritis, I've been blaming the pain on that. Last week when the gout flare up finally passed, my other joints started feeling better but my shoulder pain never went away. Most of the time I cry myself to sleep. Finally I decided to go visit our orthopedic surgeon. He was pretty sure it was a rotator cuff injury. He suggested I get a cortisone shot in my shoulder but I was too scared. Nurses really do make the worst patients. I've seen doctors give too many to be able to hold still. I wanted oral cortisone medication. Dick looked at me very disappointed. The doctor reminded me that the shot would work so much faster. I looked at Dick and told him, "After everything you've been through, I can't believe I'm not brave enough to get one shot." Deacon then announced, "How about me Grandma? I had brain surgery!" So they both convinced me to get the shot. 

He'll always be a teacher!

It brings me so much joy to see him doing something he loves. He's still anemic from the chemo but is getting stronger everyday. I can't even imagine his strength in a few more months. He did two theater audition preparation workshops on the 14th and two on the 15th. 
February 14
Workshop #1

Workshop #2

After the workshops we met at Grandpa's house.

 Giselle got us all tickets for a special Valentine's date. We had a wonderful banquet at the Old Rock Church in Providence. Phillip, Giselle, Grandpa Vosco, Dick, and I all drove together. 

Our Valentine's date!

During our date, Dick discovered that he had left his medication in Burley so we had to drive back. We spent the night at home and just drove back the next day.
I love my scarf!
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

February 15

Workshop #3

Grace

Workshop #4

Sophia

Grace was in one group today and Sophia was in the other group.

 Maybe not today, but one day the girls will be so grateful that they could work with their grandpa.

February 16
Richie and Giselle held auditions for The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. Our little Sophia got cast as Lucy. Grace will be a mouse. The Professor/Father Christmas will be played by an adult and Dick got cast for that role.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We get Deacon from school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He loves to get snacks from Taco Bandido or DQ.
Goofy kid!

February 17 

Dick, Anson, Aubrey, and I drove to Twin to look at Shoshone Falls and to have dinner. We were disappointed to find out the falls were dry. We had an amazing dinner. The falls open again on the last day of March through May. We can't wait to go back. With all the snow that we got, they will be beautiful this year.

I'm cutting the length and darkening my hair tomorrow.

February 18

Because of work and school, Travis and Brianna had their Valentine's date today so Papa and I got to hang out with this little man.

Cute girl!
She went to lunch with Lauren, joined me for my 2 hour hair appointment, went to the high school basketball game with Levi and Jazzea, and ended up at Carolina's house with 4 other guy friends. I love that she has so many different groups of friends.
I especially love that she comes home and tells Dick and I about her adventures. 

February 19

After our dinner, Papa and I played Uno with Deacon and he beat us 3 times!

My sister spoils me too much!
I love you sister and I love this stuff!

The doctor told me to call back in 2 weeks if the pain in my shoulder didn't go away because he'd want me to get an MRI. For about 3 days after the cortisone shot, my shoulder was still hurting me quite a bit. Not as much as before but still quite a bit. Everyday it gets better. If I get cold it hurts but nothing compared to before the shot. Last night was the first time I slept most of the night without the pain and it's only when I sleep on the opposite side because my arm hangs over my body and the pulling makes it hurt. I am so grateful for pain relief. I wish I would have gotten the shot in November.


"The Lord is in the details of our lives." 
-President Thomas S. Monson