I am the last leaf on the tree, and the wind is blowing. -Gordon B. Hinckley

I woke up to the sound of the alarm. As I sat up in bed, I noticed that Dick wasn't in bed. Then I saw him coming from the hall and he headed to the bathroom. I heard him running the hot water for his shower. Usually when the alarm goes off. I hear someone next to me, in bed say, "Good Morning!" (With a very "happy" sound to it.) I woke up Aubrey, than Anson. Dad came out of the shower and wasn't his usual self today. I asked him if everything was alright and he said, "Yep." Why don't I believe it? Is it something I said? Did I snore last night? Why do I feel as if it's my fault? For about an hour while the kids got ready, he was moping around, but being very helpful. He went to warm up Anson's El Camino, and my car, took the garbage out, helped me straighten up our bedroom, and things that he usually doesn't do so early in the morning. It was time for the kids to leave. Anson was so excited because he goes skiing after school with the ski team today. Dick asked us to gather for family prayer, and asked Anson to offer the prayer. Anson's prayers always lift me up. They come straight from his heart. Anson left, and Dick asked if he could take Aubrey to school instead of me. When he came back he said, "I'm going back to bed, I've been up since 4am." I then told him, "I could have taken Aubrey to school, I didn't know you hadn't slept." Then he said, as he was covering his head with a blanket, "It's okay, I wanted to take her. I might not have the opportunity to do it too much longer." I went into the kitchen, trying to figure out what was going through his mind at that moment. First I felt angry because of his attitude. That's not Dick's attitude. Then I stood there thinking of how he's dealt with all of this so far. He's been so positive! So amazing! What has CANCER done with his attitude? I went back into our bedroom and hugged him from behind. His head was still covered. I said, "I love you and I'm sorry." He said, "That's okay, I'm just in a 'feel sorry for myself' mood." I said, "That's okay. Just don't let it last too long. You've been through so much, and I don't know how you do it. I love you."

It's been fun having him home lately. Especially since he's been sleeping through the night. He's been exercising to a DVD called Total Body Cardio twice a day. 15 minutes right after the kids leave and 15 minutes right before they come home from school. He's been trying to strengthen his heart and body to be ready for the unknown. We've been doing it together and it's been fun.

I am missing him already.

 “Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays. But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come. No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. In this life or the next, Sunday will come.”
-Joseph B. Wirthlin

At 9:45 I went to Brianna's house to get Deacon. I watched him from 10-4 today. When we got home, Dad was up and greeted us at the door. His whole attitude had changed. I think Deacon helped the situation also. He is such a happy little boy and brings so much happiness to us when his little spirit fills our home. I am learning little by little that when something is bothering Dad, it's not directed towards me. It's not that I said or did something wrong. He just needs to feel sorry for himself from time to time. We took Deacon to McDonald's and him and Grandpa played in the game room. On our way home, Deacon feel asleep in his car seat.
He is so sweet and today Deacon was in an extra cuddly mood. 

My homemade bread gets better and better each time I make it. I will always be so thankful to Edye Wagstaff for sharing her mother's recipe with all of us.
This time I used half white flour and half wheat.

 Anson loves to punch it down for me.

 Five beautiful loaves.

 We must share it with our friends. Giselle drove to Logan today and took a loaf to Grandpa Vosco. 
 The bread turned out wonderful!

Founders Dinner & Gala Concert in Logan

We picked up the kids from school a little early on Friday and headed to Logan. Brianna, Deacon, and Giselle went in a separate car. When we make these family trips, I wish we had a big bus for everyone to ride together. With good snow tires! That way I wouldn't worry so much about kids driving in bad weather. We went straight to Dick's father's house to change our clothes when we got to Logan. Then we headed to the University. I love how beautiful Cache Valley is. I think they have the prettiest mountains. I love how the mountains surround the valley and how the valley is sunken in! The roads were actually great. It rained all the way from Burley to Logan, but it wasn't slick at all.   

We went to the Founders Dinner & Reception at the Performance Hall Lobby. They were honoring Grandpa Vosco and Sid Perkes. Sid was the Department Head for the Theater Department after Dad Call.

Giselle, Anson, Brianna, and Aubrey enjoying the sparkling cider. Anson and Aubrey have a very hard time taking pictures with their eyes open because of the camera flash.

(Anson, Brianna, Aubrey, John, Skye, and Giselle) John and Skye are Allyn's children. Allyn is Dick's older sister.

Dad chatting with some old friends.

Dick's family, Allyn's family, and Grandpa Vosco
(Giselle, Aubrey, Richie II, Chrislynn, Brianna, Skye, Allyn, Vosco, Richard I, Sayda, John, Anson)

The place settings looked so wonderful!

Dad Vosco Call giving his speech.

After the reception, I went with Brianna to get Deacon. Deacon stayed with Makena during the dinner. Deacon has never been watched by anyone else besides me. We didn't go to the Gala concert because we were worried that Deacon would be homesick. Dick said that the Gala Concert was wonderful! Grandpa received a special award. After all the worrying, Brianna found Deacon happier than ever at Makena's.

Saturday Allyn, Dick's sister, picked up Grandpa, Dick, and I and drove us to Bountiful. Dad Call's younger sister passed away and we all went to the services. She was 81. I was feeling awful. About two days ago, I developed some sinus problems. My head felt like there was so much pressure. The altitude from Idaho to Utah and from Logan to Bountiful didn't help at all.When we left Logan, it was sprinkling. On our way back, Giselle called us and told us that it had started snowing in Logan. Sure enough, after her phone call, it started snowing like crazy! Wow! It was bad! I was so glad that Allyn was driving. She is a pretty crazy driver. Pretty brave! Her jeep is all 4 wheel drive. We didn't even skid once. On the other hand, there were tons of cars stranded on the side of the road. I took these pictures with my phone's camera.

When we got to Grandpa's house, everyone went to a matinee. Richie directed Greater Tuna at the Caine Lyric Theatre. Brianna was going to stay with Deacon, but since he was sleeping I told her that I would crawl in bed with him because I was feeling horrible. Deacon and I took a little nap while everyone went to the show.

When everyone came home, we went to visit Richie and his family. They had a full house so we didn't stay too long. The Glovers, Chrislynn's parents, were there too. It was so good seeing them. I just love them!

We had planned on leaving Saturday after the show, but the weather was so bad. In fact, they weren't letting anyone through. The roads were all closed.

We returned to Burley on Sunday. Around noon, all the snow and ice was melting on the roads. The roads were clear so we got to enjoy ALL the beauty around us. The mountains looked so beautiful covered in snow.

Blessings continue to pour down on us.

Brianna learned this on Pinterest. With a straw, you get rid of the stem. It's very simple and not messy at all.

I love to learn new tricks!

We had another game night. This time we played MadGab.

The pictures were pretty crazy so I won't post them.

 Deacon entertained himself again. He kept spinning and trying to make himself dizzy.

Anson joined the ski club. This is the night before. He was packing and getting very excited. He didn't even plan on going this year but someone at the high school paid the fee. Thank you! You made Anson very happy.

 He left in the school bus after school and returned after 10 pm. He'll be going every Tuesday after school.

 I watched little Deacon yesterday while my sweet Brianna worked. I started cooking dinner. When I came into the family room, this is what I found. He found where we keep the typing paper and grabs one whenever he wants to draw. After he was done, he said it was a drawing of a putball. (A football)

So the blessings continue to pour down on us. Brianna told me quite awhile ago that someone at church had a card delivered to their house that was addressed to us. (Our old address on Burton.) I kept forgetting to go pick it up. Finally the other day the sweet lady came and brought it to our home. It was a Christmas card with no return address. Inside of the card there was some money! Holy Moly!!!

I don't know if this angel reads our blog, but please know that we are SO grateful. I wish I could thank you in person and give you a great big hug.

Dinner and games at Giselle's house.

We had a lovely dinner at Giselle's. Lasagna, Caesar salad, fruit kabobs dipped in fudge, and garlic bread. We used to have dinner and game get togethers at Giselle's house all the time, but we hadn't done it in a while. I'm glad we started this again. She is a great hostess. 

I love her house! It is so cute!

 ...and her bedroom set is the one we gave her for her 12th birthday.

After dinner we played games. First we played a game called Quelf. You have to do all of these crazy things. It was so much fun and we got pretty silly. We were laughing so hard. Then we played Battle of the Sexes. That was pretty fun too!

Deacon is truly amazing. Him and the ice chest became best friends for about 2 hours. He dragged it all around the house. And was pretending to sleep in it. He kept snoring. 

He kept wanting to play cheers with the girls during one of the games.

He really did entertain himself while we played games.

Poky, Update, and Chadwick

On Friday and Saturday, Dick went to Pocatello with the speech team. He didn't go as their coach, but for moral support for Anson and his students. I was so worried about letting him go, because lately I see him so fragile. I guess I'm being overprotective. I'm glad he went because I know that he must be going crazy with boredom. This man has always been a workaholic, and suddenly he's at home all the time. Anson did great. He made it to the final round and placed fourth. Hopefully next meet he will place in the top 3. Anson is doing a solo serious interpretation about a young boy who struggles with bullying and racism. 


The oncology surgeon's nurse called on Friday to inform us that Dick's fluid from the pleural effusion (fluid collected in his chest cavity) was negative for cancer. I was so relieved! They said that, according to the CT scan, he still has about 200 cc so if he starts having symptoms, the doctor might need to do another pleural tap.

Dr. Jones called yesterday after the sarcoma team met and had a pretty lengthy talk with Dick. It was more like 2 friends visiting on the phone. Dick really admires and respects Dr. Jones. I love and respect Dr. Jones because he didn't even perform this last surgery, but he's still so involved with Dick's case. I know it's because they all work as a team but he could be stepping back at this point and let the other surgeon take over. I think that Dick and Dr. Jones have a special connection. The team has decided to let Dick heal well from the surgery and his lungs. Besides the healing, they want him to get strong before his next check up.

Today Dick, Anson, Aubrey, and I went to Chadwick to have dinner. Giselle gave us all a gift card for Christmas. Dinner was wonderful. The best part is that I didn't have to cook.

Dad's 54th birthday and Back to Huntsman

The kids returned to school on Monday, January 2nd from their Christmas break. The 3rd was Dad's 54th birthday. We left at 8 am and headed to Utah. He was scheduled for an MRI at 11:30, plus a chest X-ray. He had those done at U of U because the Huntsman did not have any openings. After U of U, we went next door to the Huntsman to visit with the Thoracic surgeon. The thoracic surgeon is the one who worked on his diaphragm. Dick's breathing has been worse than ever after this last surgery. He developed a cough about 2 weeks after surgery. Since his breathing was so bad, we thought that some of the sutures that were holding his diaphragm down had come undone because of the cough. While the doctor was visiting with us, Dick could not stop coughing. He couldn't go more than a sentence without coughing. The doctor said that the x-ray didn't look very good. He said the diaphragm should look flat and that the right side was up again. He thought that maybe his cough had caused the sutures to come undone or that maybe there was too much fluid which could be pushing the lung up. He took Dick to the procedure room for an ultrasound. He told us that if there appeared to be lots of fluid, that he would tap it to remove it right there in the procedure room. Dick looked at me like, "What do I do? Does this sound like something I should let him do?" I felt at peace with that decision and thought that lately all my prayers have been asking Heavenly Father for the doctors to be inspired to do what needs to be done to help my husband. He did find a lot of fluid and said that Dad had a pleural effusion. (A pleural effusion is fluid that accumulates in the chest cavity, usually because of a recent surgery, pneumonia, congestive heart failure, or cancer.) Right away he did a thoracentisis (pleural tap) and got 900cc out. I was looking at the picture below and when I enlarged it, according to the scale on the left side, it's way over 1000cc. 

 The procedure was so painful for him. I was feeling really bad for him, but when I was seeing all the fluid that was shooting out, I kept thinking at least he'll start breathing better and his cough will go away. What a way to spend your birthday! As his lung expanded, Dick would experience severe pain. Right after the procedure, his cough stopped instantly.

After Huntsman, we went to get Leanna Parks at her place and went to Lone Star for Dick's birthday dinner. Dick was starving and craving a steak . Leanna treated us to his birthday dinner. Dick ate all of  his dinner and even had room for dessert. He hasn't had a good appetite since the surgery which is a little over six weeks. I think that without all that fluid squeezing his lung, he had more energy to eat.

After dinner we spent the evening at Leanna's. We had a wonderful time. We also spent the night there. Leanna left at 5:30 for work. She is a nurse at a surgery center at Saint Marks in SLC. In the morning we headed back to U of U because Dick had a CT scan scheduled for 10:30.

The funniest thing happened after his CT scan. I'm so glad we can laugh about silly things while waiting for serious news. Dick got his CT scan at U of U today. I waited in the main lobby that's about 1/2 a block from where he was. After his CT scan was over, he met me at the lobby and said, "Oh no, I forgot my watch in my locker! I'll go get it." He was gone forever, and I was thinking of going to find him but I didn't want to leave the area just in case he came looking for me. I know the contrast gives him the runs, and was thinking that maybe he had to make some emergency stops on the way there and back. He finally showed up like 20 minutes later. I asked him if he had to make lots of stops. He said, "Do you want to hear the long version of what happened or do you just want me to tell you I found it?" He's laughing pretty hard, so of course I wanted the long, funny version!

This is the story... He got lost and finally asked the lady in radiology to get him to the dressing room. His locker had been taken by someone else and they had the key. While the lady goes to get the key for the locker, he goes in the bathroom just in case he left it there when he washed his hands, and asked a cute Asian gentleman if he had seen it. The little man yelled at Dick with his broken English, thinking Dick was accusing him of taking his watch. He goes back to the dressing room and thinks to himself, "Why would someone not turn in my watch before he/she used the locker?" As he's thinking, scratching his head, he realizes there's a discomfort in the tip of his toes and notices a big bulge on his toes, inside his shoe! He had put his watch in his shoe, and what's so silly is that he had been walking around with this discomfort thinking his sock had just pulled tight. He felt pretty stupid and told the lady he found his watch in the bathroom. As Brianna said, "It wasn't something small inside his shoe. It was an entire watch!" Oh my goodness! I don't think we've laughed this hard in such a long time.

 After the CT scan, Dick and I had lunch at Huntsman. He had an appointment at 1:30 with Dr. Jones, who operated on his leg in 2009, but is still very involved with Dick's care. After that visit, Dick had an appointment with the surgeon who did his stomach surgery. They both are Oncology surgeons.

Same rough story of cancer survivors, no definite answers, just the waiting game. They did tell us that the cancer is stage 4 and it's a pretty rare kind of cancer. So rare that they don't even know if it responds to chemotherapy. They don't want to do chemo because of all of his other health issues, especially his heart. He had a heart attack in 2007. We do have good news for now. There were no masses on his leg, chest, or stomach. He gets scanned again in April and if they see any masses they will consider chemo. That way they will see if the chemo works at all. We both left crying, with broken hearts because things are so inconclusive. One of the doctors told us to enjoy every day because you really don't know what is in the future. Shouldn't we all enjoy each day as if it was our last day on earth? In a way it's a blessing because it will make our family closer and we will appreciate each other more, and not take any little minute for granted. They did send off the fluid that they took out to test it for cancer. The sarcoma team will meet on Monday and will call us with a final decision.

We didn't leave Huntsman until after 5pm. We decided to have dinner and since Leanna bought Dick his birthday meal, we felt like we could splurge on a fancy meal. Something like Red Lobster! We both love sea food. I told Dick, "You know, it's after 5 already." Then he said, "Are you thinking we should eat a sandwich while we drive back to Idaho?" Then I said, "Well, the doctor did tell us to enjoy every day as best as we can. What the heck! Let's go to Red Lobster!" Dick said, "That's right! Red Lobster it is!" 

 I don't want to see Dick suffer. I wish we could go to Huntsman one day and that they would say, "The cancer is gone forever and it will never come back!" We would just like some answers to so many questions. We wish something could be done in the meantime instead of waiting for tumors to appear. I hate the thought of him going through so many surgeries or what if it's in a place where they can't do surgery? Then they tell us that this cancer might not even respond to chemo. It's pretty frustrating! It's interesting how many of our friends tell me that they admire my strength and faith. I hope they know that I get my strength from them and my family, especially Dick. He is the best example of strength and faith to me.

Yesterday Dick woke up and said he felt so much better. His diaphragm was paralyzed 2 1/2 years ago due to his first cancer surgery. During this last surgery, they also repaired his diaphragm. We thought the procedure didn't work because his breathing has been so labored and he hasn't been able to sleep through the night since his surgery. His breathing has been worse than previously. We really thought the procedure didn't help at all, but made it worse! It was all because of that fluid that was crushing his lung. Silly man doesn't know what it's like to feel good. Anyone else would have ended up in the ER 6 weeks ago! When I went to bed, he was sleeping so soundly. His breathing sounded wonderful. I realized that all this time when I would hear him breath, my breathing was uneven and labored too because I would see him struggling.  As I heard his respiration, it was music to my ears. I was even breathing normal again. In the morning he got up and said, "I'm feeling so great that I'm going to the school to see if any of the students need my help with their speeches." Anson and his other  students have a speech competition this weekend. HE LOOKED SO RESTED!

We finally had his birthday dinner and a birthday cake with the kids. I fixed one of his favorite dinners... spaghetti. We had a quiet dinner with Anson and Aubrey and sang Happy Birthday. Makena, Travis, Deacon, Brianna, and Sissy joined us for cake and ice cream. They all came staggering in at different times, but we were all together in the evening and had a great visit. With Brianna and Giselle working some nights now, I really miss our daily evenings that we used to share together on a daily basis.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DICK! I'M SORRY FOR ALL YOU HAD TO GO THROUGH THE DAY OF YOUR BIRTHDAY. WHAT A PRESENT IN RETURN! YOU HAVE YOUR BREATHING AND YOUR SLEEP BACK!

I LOVE YOU FOREVER!